A fantasy and a lie

Spolier Alert? Yeah, for all those who still don't think i'm a 'douche-bag', by the time you are done reading this whole story, you will. This is one of those things about me that people should learn early on. I'm a complete jerk. ...Sorry.




The game continued, one of the rewards for gettting a certain amount of points was that I would send her pics. She got to this point, so I sent her about a dozen pics... She then proceeded to go on about how cute I am. Its kind of hard not to appreciate someone that adores you...
I created a fake facebook acount(in the very beginning. To use the chat. Because I didn't have MSN.) She would write stuff on my wall. Send me messages and stuff. Anyway, one day I get this email from an anonymous 'friend' of Beep's. Pretty much it was horrible, it was vicious. It was about how I was taking advantage of her being so young and naive, and how im seducing her, and dragging her to hell with me. Attacking my character, it was biting and nasty. It didn't change anything, but it made me think about what Beep was telling who, also she put a LOT of emphasis on the 'young' part. I told Beep that someone wasn't too happy with our behaviour, she flipped a lid. Its funny cause I exchanged a few messages with this 'friend' I got her to leave us alone, but I promised that I'd never tell Beep who it was. This 'friend's' last message to me accused me of telling Beep who they were. And for the world to know- I did not. I keep my word. I am nothing if not loyal to my oath.

Anyway, we continued speaking every night. And I reestablished the fact that we were only friends often.

Then one day, im sitting in my office; going through some paperwork, not even thinking about anything, other than what i was doing...when bam, all of a sudden, she pops in my head. In an inappropriate manner... Enter daydream... She is half-sitting, half kneeling on this bed, wearing an oversized white dress shirt that was only half buttoned up. I shook myself, tried to get the image out of my head. It keeps coming back. I try to fight it, but everytime I lose focus of what I was doing. Even a little bit, she was there again, full detail. My heart would start racing and I would imagine us getting closer, in slow-motion; until I was close enough to feel her breath on my lips; I slid up right beside her and traced my finger along the contours of her knee, I'd brush a strand of her gorgeous hair away from her face, and then run my finger along her jaw line to her lips. I dropped my hand and ever so lightly grazed her lips with mine. She would draw a sharp breath in, in anticipation, then instead of kissing her breathless lips, id start down the side of her neck, and move slowly to her collar. Lingering there for a moment and then moving back up her throat to her lips. I would slide one hand around to the small of her back and pull her into me, while deepening the kiss.... ....At this point in time, I realize im still sitting in my office. My heart still pumping. Fetch. If we were friends in my head... i'd hate to see where more would take my dreams.

Pretty much im a whore in my day-dream-fantasies. And she was just an object. And im an asshole. I couldn't get her out of my head because I lusted after her. I loved that she loved me, it gave me the power. And the one thing that really turned me on was the thought of her, getting goosbumps. Me being the cause. I could make her feel butterflies, and that is a priceless thing, to see anticipation and anxiety, and love when someone looks at you. And she would be all these things for me. I never met her in real life, but my imagination was enough... And I felt guilty for it. SO guilty.

Anyway, our conversations continue, just like we were old friends. And im thinking about it one day, and suddenly it hits me. She is still in highschool....her birthday is in October....She is 17!! It made me sick thinking about it. One night, halfway into some conversation about who knows what, I straight up ask her- "Are you 17?" She tries to ignore the question, she does it very gracefully, but in that I have my answer. She confesses to it. Then she apologizes profusely. She tells me that she was going to tell me, and im like 'when?' I made a big deal about her being 18. And that she was still in highschool... and now she is 17. And it wasn't even just that. ...She lied to me.