Right now

Ok so I know you are waiting for the rest of the story, and I promise it will come this weekend. It's hard to write...

Anyway. Right now. I'm sitting in my car, outside a 7-11. Trying to figure out why I'm sitting here. I was just at a little get together with some friends of mine. I look fantastic. I'm all by myself. There is a girl working there... Afton..... and I'm just sitting here. Like the creep that I am. Half trying to think of a reason to go in there. Which is stupid cause its just a 7-11. And half just sitting here...looking at her. She's beautiful. Even in the dorky uniform. She is so far out of my league, that if we were playing baseball, I'd have to back up when she bunts. ...its cold. And I'm a creepy stalker. As I was driving here I was asking myself what I was doing... sitting here I still have no idea.

Even if I did go in there, I'd buy something I don't need or I don't want, to have a 30 second conversation with her, that would probably just make me look like a retard and I'd end up saying something stupid.

And I mean, what do I expect to come of it? I can't ever have her. It would blow my closet cover, not to mention it goes against everything. ...and yet I sit here. Wanting to tell her how amazing she is, let her know that there is someone out there that sees her. That wants to be her shoulder to cry on, to be there for her, night or day, near or far. Someone she can trust. Someone, that given the opportunity, would do anything for her, someone that hopes she never again has to suffer a broken heart.

....why am I still here?....