The Freak-out.

She told me she loved me. She was 17, we had never spoken/met in real life, and she was in love. Call me crazy, but its not possible. I dont care what she thinks she felt, guaranteed, it wasn't the real thing. She may have been starting to fall, but she wasn't there. I don't know if I actually believe in love.

So, she told me this. I started having a freak-out session. Well, as much of one as I can have. I told her I needed to go, but that i'd be back. She made me promise that i'd be back that night. I said I would, and I proceeded to put on my running stuff and go for a run, but I felt like a couldn't get far enough, fast enough so I circled around and got my bike. About an hour and a half passed and I came home with the intention of talking to her, but I sat at my computer and had no idea where to start so I picked up my rugby ball, went back outside and kicked it around a bit. I didn't know where to start. I know that I REALLY didn't want to hurt her, I never wanted to break her heart. From the beginning I told her not to get her heart involved. Then again, apparently im a sadistic, masochistic nut case. I wanted her, I didn't want her, I wasn't sure. I knew that I would just use her. I was scared. Most of all I was scared.

Rugby always calms me down, I went back inside, sat down at my computer and had an intense conversation with her.