What kept me sane

Over the years, i've nearly perfected the craft of making girls love me. Well, not love-love me, but like-love. ....If you know what I mean. ....That sounds really conceited. I'm like a cute puppy, everyone loves the cute puppy, but no one wants to ****edit(have sex with)the cute puppy.

I think girls are easy. ...That didn't come out right either. What I mean is that they are easy to make happy. And if you have the ability to make a girl happy, she'll love you. Just not the way I want them to.

OK. Picking up where I left off, I just screwed up my pseudo-love best friend relationship. I spend the next little while having crushes on girls, and not really doing anything about it. What was I supposed to do about it? High School came, and this is really where I started to have these feelings. I had a small circle of close friends, but I also was one of those people that could wander cliques and be accepted; I hung with jocks, with the drama kids, the choir kids, the chess geeks, the outcasts, the anime freaks, you name it and I fit in. Within my small circle of friends was one girl, she was hot and sweet and perfect. She was smart and funny and had an amazing singing voice. I loved her... too bad everyone in the school was in love with her. She became the object of my fantasies, but nothing more... she was too innocent for me to even try.

Two things in highschool kept me sane.
1- Drama class, cause in that room, there was no judgement. I could act however I wanted and people wouldn't think a thing about it, it was a comfortable space and I was surrounded by people that truely cared about you as a person. I made some awesome friends there. There were couches and bean bag chairs instead of desks, and pretty much, we did whatever we wanted.
My favorite moment in class- we were put into groups and assigned an activity of sorts, I don't remember quite what it was, but I recall sitting next to Linds on this couch, and we started discussing out activity and apparently Linds was tired and she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder and sort of cuddled into me. Mmm. My heart stopped for a split second I couldn't breathe, felt so good.

and 2- Rugby. Rugby helped for two reasons, it was a legitimate excuse to be VERY close to other girls AND I could take out all my frustrations on the field. Yes!

Its kind of funny... cause what kept me sane was also kind of what drove me crazy. I could only take it so far, and it was like I was teasing myself everytime I flirted with a drama-girl or everytime I gave a massage to my teammate.