We've been broken up for about 3 months so far, and i've only spent about a day missing him. This shouldn't surprise you, I am a heartless wench.
SO. Rugby started and life is exactly the way it should be! I missed coaching SOOOO bad. Its been two years. And I will say this, a lot of things have changed in the last two years. The school I used to coach for had a lot of religious students in it, it wasn't a religious school, it was just the way it way, and being such, our team was exceptionally well behaved, and there were only a few little creepers on it....
The school I coach for now is a little bit of a rougher school, and my team is full of little creepers... I don't know about you, but when I played sports, my coaches were untouchable. What they said was law, they had our utmost respect and we never got closer than was appropriate... Kids these days... have no idea how that goes. They have almost no sense of personal/professional boundries.
For the first couple of weeks I turned on 'The Coach' I was intimidating. I scared every single one of those girls. Then after I figured they had been sufficiently scared so I loosened up ever so slightly, they took this as an invitation to get all creepy... and gradually, it just creepier and creepier. It started out that most of the girls started hitting on me, it freaked me out, but then I realized that they hit on anything that moved.
It calmed down mostly, except out of this one girl... It started with her cracking her finger at practice, I took her to get some ice, it was our first real conversation, I got her phone number and sent her to the hospital with her aunt. I called her later than night make sure she was ok. Simple, totally innocent and coach appropriate.
About a week later I missed practice because of a meeting, and one of the other coaches ran the practice until i got there. And because im a closet control freak, after practice I messaged some girls, asked how practice went, and she was one of the girls I happened to ask... Apparently she had a crap practice because the other coach had told her that she was annoying. Then we had a little chat about her low self-esteem. As a coach, its my belief that you should never say anything negative to any of your players. So I spent a little time talking to her. Still, totally coach appropriate.
She messages me a few days later and we got to talking... she has a lot of self esteem issues, most of which I relate to, but she really opened up to me. It made me more of a friend than a coach... and this is where it starts to cross the line.
She cracked her shoulder real good, and had me take a look at it, and im well versed in shoulders so, I tape it, and I help her with movement and stetching and exercises, we ended up spending more time together.
We had a rugby bonding party and we went out to play buggers and she started trash talkin me, so I threw it back, then she jumped me. Which was funny cause she didn't even make me miss a step. next thing she knew, I was on top of her, she was face down eating dirt and i had her arms pinned under my knees and her legs in my arms. Huge loss. She conceeded defeat, but tried again a little while later, she got my back wrapped herself around me and koala hugged me. I made the mistake of back dropping her onto the ground, it totally winded her and I put all my weight on her, but she wouldn't let go, we had to call it a tie. she couldn't breathe, but she wouldn't let go.
She took that wrestling as an ok to be more physical in our relationship. Also, it was the beginning of her texting. She texted me almost everyday, mostly about rugby stuff, but sometimes it was more personal. She flirted a lot. And because i'm a whore, I didn't stop it when I should've.
Then the sexting started. This is when I said something. And it stopped for a while, but it changed the way she was at practice, the way she played... so we had another talk, and it got better. But at the same time, I will admit I like it. She is pretty... but that crosses EVERY line. Its so wrong, I don't approve. The age gap, the position of authority, the ....everything.
But then she sends me these- See the thing is- It was drawn by another girl on our team. And it is actually really good...
And she is hot. What the Hell am I supposed to do? FML.
Nothing is ever going to happen, cause i'm morally objected to it, and she is obviously straight. It just sucks
